Hold On

"Hold on to yourself, this is going to hurt like Hell"

I had a friend give me a reading last night (between rounds of D&D, no less). It was a deck I was unfamiliar with (A Russian Gypsy Deck). I shuffled the cards and handed them back to her. While she was placing he cards she told we that I hadn't been concentrating. No, shit...

"I've been a little unfocused lately."

Then she asked the fun one:

"Is anyone close to you Terminally Ill?"

Not that I know of. Today it hit me. I wouldn't know. Who would tell me?

I might as well have been wearing a black armband for the last month. Maybe that's what she picked up. I'm grieving.

It's a little death. It's what it feels like. It's how I have to think of it. Otherwise, I'll be weak (and I am, O so weak...).

There is so much I won't know. Things I missed. Things I will miss.

"What is it in me that refuses to believe..."